Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Avoiding Another Birth Injury

I wasn't sure I wanted to write about this.  When a large majority of women hear the word "c-section", backs get up and sometimes claws come out.

I got out of the hospital almost 2 weeks ago now.  I thought for sure on April 26th I was going to have my daughter soon - but here I am, over 2.5 weeks later, and I am still pregnant!  37 weeks and 3 days!  Amazing!

While in the hospital, the OB doing the rounds brought up something I never thought I would ever hear, "I think you should have a c-section."

Say what?  I don't want a c-section!  My labour was super short, and I pushed for like 15-20 minutes to get Violet out.  There is no reason for a c-section.  I had no idea why Violet had a birth injury, but in my head, it was obvious that someone pulled her arm too hard during the quick bit of pushing but no one wanted to own up to it.

I even asked them to look up Violet's records to tell me why her shoulder dystocia happened, and they couldn't seem to find anything.  Either way though, I should have a c-section.

I said no.

Last week when I saw my own OB though, he brought up what the OB had recommended, telling me that OB thought I wasn't being smart about the decision (ouch).  I told him my reasonings though, fumbling a little over my wording because I was upset that instead of someone saying, "Obviously a mistake was made at Violet's birth; it won't happen again!" I was being told I needed to be cut open to deliver a baby that for all we know could be born perfectly fine (provided no one pulled on her arm!).

That's when he pulled out a written record of my first daughter's birth.  Turns out, there were issues.  Why no one told me this before, I do not know.  Why I was told no one knew why it happened, I can't figure out.  Why I was told, "Oh, the injury could have happened while she was inside you!" - I will NEVER understand.
Whatever the reasoning behind all these things said to me, I now know that Violet's birth wasn't without complications outside of the fact of her being born prematurely.  Now I know that when I was being instructed to do some weird things during pushing, it wasn't just for fun! they were attempting the McRoberts Maneuver.  Violet was stuck in my pelvis.  

If a 7lb 10oz baby at 34 weeks and 4 days could get stuck in my pelvis, imagine what a bigger baby could do.  At just over 35 weeks, baby Daisy was measuring 8lbs 5oz by ultrasound.  Yikes.

(And for the record - no Gestational Diabetes with either pregnancy. Seriously.)

We can't go through the stress and anxiety of another arm injury.  We can't go through all the appointments with special doctors and Occupational Therapists... just can't.  I would rather go through some pain and healing myself than even think of risking my child's arm, or even her life.  

So, here I am.  Set to have my baby soon.  Soon she will be here.  The c-section was booked quickly, and I am feeling very calm about it.  I had my time of crying, but now I am excited that I get to meet my little girl soon.  I will never have that after-birth moment where I get to have my child immediately placed on my chest, but I am thankful we are likely to skip the NICU experience this time.  

Soon.  Daisy will be here soon.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

She tried to come early!

Well, I'm past the point when I had Violet!

CHEERS!

But, I've been having a lot of preterm labour stuff, so here I sit in the antenatal ward of my hospital!

SIGH :(

It's been super hard being away from the Violet-Monster... like really hard.... but thankfully my parents have been super awesome about keeping her overnight (the hubster works super early), and taking care of her in the morning.  And Hubby has been a superstar with both Violet and with me.  Don't know what I'd do without him!

So far, it is looking like I may just make it to my May 1st goal :)  I chose that day because it would make me exactly one week more pregnant than I was with Violet (so 35 weeks and 4 days instead of 34 weeks and 4 days).  Exactly one week after Violet was born, it was like she was magically better.  Suddenly she didn't need any help with breathing, and we were finally able to hold her more often (and figure out how to change her cute little bum, et cetera!).

So in my head, that one week makes it more likely that I get to hold my little Daisy when she's born, and not have to wait.

Getting closer.

Hard to believe she could be here soon.... but it's nice to know that so far she's staying put.  And as much as it sucks to be in the hospital, I know I am in the best place for now.  Can't wait to get this stupid IV lock thing out of my arm though.... ugh!

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Pregnancies can definitely be different

One thing that everyone would say when I said I didn't want anymore kids after my first pregnancy, was, "Every pregnancy is different."

I get why everyone felt this need to tell me this (it's fun telling people to have babies after all! right?), but it still really annoyed me.  I think when you have an awful pregnancy, the last thing you want, is to just be told that the horrifying pain and sickness you experienced is something you should just forget about.  That your fears of having another baby prematurely just don't matter and are silly and unimportant.

If you had a crappy pregnancy, I'm here to tell you that you definitely do not have to listen to all of that "advice" that everything can be different if you get pregnant again.  If you are fearful, I don't blame you.  I've been living the last 27 weeks wondering what each and every feeling I have means - if anything.  I had a woman tell me that it looked like my belly "dropped" last week, and I almost cried right there and then.  I am extremely fragile and scared that everything that happened before, will happen again.

I am 31 weeks today.  You would think this fear I have been having would therefore be gone.  This pregnancy has been significantly better than my first.  I had morning sickness, but it wasn't near as bad as it was with our first daughter (lost over 20 lbs sort of sickness with her; I went down maybe 5 lbs just from the nausea with #2 here); some days I feel sore and tired, but I have slept a lot more and can walk, keep up with others, and carry my 30 lbs toddler without any issues.

After every appointment I expect to get phone calls from my doctors' offices letting me know there is a problem.  I brace myself for 2-3 days, and am always shocked when no phone call comes.  I almost feel afraid that things have been going too easily.

I am about 3.5 weeks away from when my first daughter was born.  I feel somewhat confident that I can make it a few more weeks than I did with her.  I know I won't go full-term, but I think it's safe to say this baby will not be born in April.  This pregnancy has been different.  Yes.  It has.  But that doesn't mean that it hasn't been hard.  It doesn't mean that I didn't cry when I was sick those first 20 weeks, or that I didn't freak right out when I started having pain in the right side of my back last week (reminiscent of my kidney pain with my first).

I am allowed to be scared.  You are allowed to be scared.  Obviously if you are having another child after a hard first pregnancy or birth, you very much want this next child too - feeling scared doesn't mean you are not grateful for the chance to be pregnant again.  I am grateful.  I am grateful that I have been able to enjoy the little things about pregnancy more... I am grateful for the chance to understand that everyone really doesn't feel awful when pregnant - but also grateful to understand those who do feel awful when pregnant.

About 2 months until my due date.

I can do this.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Not Sure How Badly I Want to Write Anymore...

I keep thinking I have to write an entry in order to keep up with the at least one monthly entry I need (in order to monetize on my blog through writing the occasional promotional post)... but I have to admit, I don't know how much I have to write about anymore sometimes.

 Maybe it's the pregnancy just draining me, but I know I am definitely sick of the fake hits on my blog because of the sponsored posts, and constantly having to go through spam comments on the sponsored posts... and yeah - the sponsored posts just seeming like more of a hassle than they are worth.

I enjoy that I was able to buy my daughter some nice Christmas presents this year because of the money I made, but I think I might be removing a lot of my old sponsored posts, which will likely make me ineligible for new ones (as I may not have the posting requirements if I remove them!)... Half the time, I find I am only writing something just to keep up, so this could be the end of my blog. Who knows! That, or just don't expect to hear from me unless I have something to say :)

Sunday, January 12, 2014

It's a.....

Had my anatomy ultrasound last week.  Was awesome getting to see the baby kick the living crap out of me, and just move like the nutso crazy baby I knew it was!

The ultrasound technician wasn't allowed to tell me anything (I wanted to know the sex... NOW!), but she did tell me that the baby was perfect.  Aaahhhh!

So Friday, I knew there was a chance my doctor's office could have the results of my ultrasound... which meant getting to find out the sex of our baby (please notice I say sex and not gender... you can tell a person who almost crazily majored in Sociology, huh?).  I phoned - kind of scared - but also excited.  How would I react to either male or female being said?

Thankfully, I got the nicest of all the receptionists on the phone (I was afraid of getting someone who was tired and grumpy and not wanting to help me find out), and she was so excited to be getting this phone call.  Getting calmer.  Ah.

Then she said it.  She told me girl.  Girl.

Another girl.

Omigawd.

"Girl!? Omigoodness!  I think I might cry!"

Good cry.  Perfect cry.  Sisters?

Best. Day. Ever.

Today, I am 20 weeks (according to my doctor's dude date of June 1st)... so I decided to "announce" on Facebook that we are having a girl - and we have the name.

I feel like the luckiest Mommy in the world.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Two

She's two.  My little girl is two.

Two years ago, I woke up (who am I kidding? I wasn't sleeping!) and had a shower.  I hadn't been showering too much at this point - there was really no point considering I was home every day and unable to go out - but I showered...

I had breakfast... but I was still starving.  My husband made me eggs when he got up, and later on, I even had some popcorn.  I was just chilling out on the couch watching Netflix... not much to do when you're trying to take it easy.  Just 3 weeks earlier my husband had rushed me to the ER as I was having horrible back pains.  That was really the first time I ever really even had it in my head that I could have my baby prematurely.  The nurse that was getting me ready to be wheeled up to the L&D triage said, "This is it!" - as in, I was in labour, and I would have my baby soon.  Not something you want to hear at 31 weeks and 4 days.

While watching Twins (you know, the awesome 80s movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger & Danny DeVito), I suddenly felt like I had peed myself!!!  I ran to the bathroom... and found out I did not pee myself!  My water had broken!

Who would have thought about 4 or so hours later our beautiful daughter would be here?

We had a pretty stressful time in the NICU the first week, but the last few days we were there were amazing as we waited for her to be well-enough to bring home..

And here we are!  I have a two year old.  I have a little girl who is talking more and more each day and doing things that just surprise me!

My pregnancy hormones have been causing me to cry even more than I did last year when Violet turned one... but I know I'm not really sad... just shocked at how fast time has gone!

Happy 2nd Birthday Violet!  I am one lucky Momma!



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