Sunday, March 30, 2014

Pregnancies can definitely be different

One thing that everyone would say when I said I didn't want anymore kids after my first pregnancy, was, "Every pregnancy is different."

I get why everyone felt this need to tell me this (it's fun telling people to have babies after all! right?), but it still really annoyed me.  I think when you have an awful pregnancy, the last thing you want, is to just be told that the horrifying pain and sickness you experienced is something you should just forget about.  That your fears of having another baby prematurely just don't matter and are silly and unimportant.

If you had a crappy pregnancy, I'm here to tell you that you definitely do not have to listen to all of that "advice" that everything can be different if you get pregnant again.  If you are fearful, I don't blame you.  I've been living the last 27 weeks wondering what each and every feeling I have means - if anything.  I had a woman tell me that it looked like my belly "dropped" last week, and I almost cried right there and then.  I am extremely fragile and scared that everything that happened before, will happen again.

I am 31 weeks today.  You would think this fear I have been having would therefore be gone.  This pregnancy has been significantly better than my first.  I had morning sickness, but it wasn't near as bad as it was with our first daughter (lost over 20 lbs sort of sickness with her; I went down maybe 5 lbs just from the nausea with #2 here); some days I feel sore and tired, but I have slept a lot more and can walk, keep up with others, and carry my 30 lbs toddler without any issues.

After every appointment I expect to get phone calls from my doctors' offices letting me know there is a problem.  I brace myself for 2-3 days, and am always shocked when no phone call comes.  I almost feel afraid that things have been going too easily.

I am about 3.5 weeks away from when my first daughter was born.  I feel somewhat confident that I can make it a few more weeks than I did with her.  I know I won't go full-term, but I think it's safe to say this baby will not be born in April.  This pregnancy has been different.  Yes.  It has.  But that doesn't mean that it hasn't been hard.  It doesn't mean that I didn't cry when I was sick those first 20 weeks, or that I didn't freak right out when I started having pain in the right side of my back last week (reminiscent of my kidney pain with my first).

I am allowed to be scared.  You are allowed to be scared.  Obviously if you are having another child after a hard first pregnancy or birth, you very much want this next child too - feeling scared doesn't mean you are not grateful for the chance to be pregnant again.  I am grateful.  I am grateful that I have been able to enjoy the little things about pregnancy more... I am grateful for the chance to understand that everyone really doesn't feel awful when pregnant - but also grateful to understand those who do feel awful when pregnant.

About 2 months until my due date.

I can do this.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Not Sure How Badly I Want to Write Anymore...

I keep thinking I have to write an entry in order to keep up with the at least one monthly entry I need (in order to monetize on my blog through writing the occasional promotional post)... but I have to admit, I don't know how much I have to write about anymore sometimes.

 Maybe it's the pregnancy just draining me, but I know I am definitely sick of the fake hits on my blog because of the sponsored posts, and constantly having to go through spam comments on the sponsored posts... and yeah - the sponsored posts just seeming like more of a hassle than they are worth.

I enjoy that I was able to buy my daughter some nice Christmas presents this year because of the money I made, but I think I might be removing a lot of my old sponsored posts, which will likely make me ineligible for new ones (as I may not have the posting requirements if I remove them!)... Half the time, I find I am only writing something just to keep up, so this could be the end of my blog. Who knows! That, or just don't expect to hear from me unless I have something to say :)

Sunday, January 12, 2014

It's a.....

Had my anatomy ultrasound last week.  Was awesome getting to see the baby kick the living crap out of me, and just move like the nutso crazy baby I knew it was!

The ultrasound technician wasn't allowed to tell me anything (I wanted to know the sex... NOW!), but she did tell me that the baby was perfect.  Aaahhhh!

So Friday, I knew there was a chance my doctor's office could have the results of my ultrasound... which meant getting to find out the sex of our baby (please notice I say sex and not gender... you can tell a person who almost crazily majored in Sociology, huh?).  I phoned - kind of scared - but also excited.  How would I react to either male or female being said?

Thankfully, I got the nicest of all the receptionists on the phone (I was afraid of getting someone who was tired and grumpy and not wanting to help me find out), and she was so excited to be getting this phone call.  Getting calmer.  Ah.

Then she said it.  She told me girl.  Girl.

Another girl.

Omigawd.

"Girl!? Omigoodness!  I think I might cry!"

Good cry.  Perfect cry.  Sisters?

Best. Day. Ever.

Today, I am 20 weeks (according to my doctor's dude date of June 1st)... so I decided to "announce" on Facebook that we are having a girl - and we have the name.

I feel like the luckiest Mommy in the world.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Two

She's two.  My little girl is two.

Two years ago, I woke up (who am I kidding? I wasn't sleeping!) and had a shower.  I hadn't been showering too much at this point - there was really no point considering I was home every day and unable to go out - but I showered...

I had breakfast... but I was still starving.  My husband made me eggs when he got up, and later on, I even had some popcorn.  I was just chilling out on the couch watching Netflix... not much to do when you're trying to take it easy.  Just 3 weeks earlier my husband had rushed me to the ER as I was having horrible back pains.  That was really the first time I ever really even had it in my head that I could have my baby prematurely.  The nurse that was getting me ready to be wheeled up to the L&D triage said, "This is it!" - as in, I was in labour, and I would have my baby soon.  Not something you want to hear at 31 weeks and 4 days.

While watching Twins (you know, the awesome 80s movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger & Danny DeVito), I suddenly felt like I had peed myself!!!  I ran to the bathroom... and found out I did not pee myself!  My water had broken!

Who would have thought about 4 or so hours later our beautiful daughter would be here?

We had a pretty stressful time in the NICU the first week, but the last few days we were there were amazing as we waited for her to be well-enough to bring home..

And here we are!  I have a two year old.  I have a little girl who is talking more and more each day and doing things that just surprise me!

My pregnancy hormones have been causing me to cry even more than I did last year when Violet turned one... but I know I'm not really sad... just shocked at how fast time has gone!

Happy 2nd Birthday Violet!  I am one lucky Momma!



Monday, December 16, 2013

Being Pregnant for a Second Time

I'm over 16 weeks now, and I feel like this pregnancy has already been 2 years long.  I remember the first 20 weeks seeming really long the last time, but I think the tiredness of being pregnant with a toddler already, is just making time go by even slower.

It's kind of nice that time has slowed down a little in a way.  Violet is going to be TWO in just a couple more weeks (and a few days).  Where has the time gone!?!?  I swear I was just taking her one year photos, and preparing for her birthday party and Baptism.

In another way, because me and pregnancy = major nauseousness, I want to get to 20 weeks with the hope that the sickness will subside.  The good news is that I haven't been as sick as I was with Violet, but I am still feeling it 24/7 (even with lots of Diclectin and Seabands on wrists!).

I have been extra careful to not be as sick as I was with Violet.  It's not like I didn't try last time, but I didn't have as much reason to try and make sure I wasn't in the bathroom barfing all night last time.  Having a needy toddler (and her room being right across from the only bathroom in our place), means that I really have to take super duper care of myself to ensure that I can still give her a fairly healthy Mommy that doesn't make barfy noises most of the day.  Thankfully this time, I don't have to be stingy with my Diclectin pills, as husband has awesome benefits (that unfortunately didn't kick in until I no longer needed them with Violet!).

It's crazy thinking it is almost Christmas though.  With a nearly 2 year old, I know it's going to be hilarious!  I look forward to trying to make this an amazing Christmas for Violet - her last as an only child :)



Here's hoping we make it through Christmas with a happy toddler... then make it through her 2nd birthday just over a week later (with minimal tears from Mommy!)!  Less than a week after that, we have our anatomy ultrasound scan... here's hoping for a healthy baby, and for a baby who is willing to show us what "it" is!  We would love to start calling the baby by name!

If I don't write again before Christmas, have a great Christmas everyone!  And I hope the New Year brings so much happiness to you all!

Saturday, November 16, 2013

It's time for Violet to be a big sister!

I haven't written in awhile... well, at least not a real post.  It's hard to write anything at all when all you want to do is write about how you are pregnant!



That's right!  Violet will be a big sister come May, 2014!  No sooner than May!  I told the nurse at my doctor's office that even if this next kid comes early too, I am at least holding it in until May!

The most common question I am asked when people find out I am pregnant again, is if we will be finding out the sex of Baby #2.  The answer to that is, yes.  Yes, we will!  I loved finding out last time with Violet (we actually had to go and pay to have one done, as the techs at my anatomy ultrasounds either said they couldn't see, or insisted my doctor didn't check it off so they didn't have to check [for the record, I watched him do up the requisitions, and he did check it off! Grrrr!]).

To me, it was still a surprise... well, in a way.  Both my husband and I had a feeling it was a girl, and we were definitely right!  We immediately started calling "it" by name, and it just made the bond that much more awesome, in my opinion.  I totally get why some people don't want to find out and want to wait for the baby's birth day, but we liked finding out beforehand!  Everyone is different, and I hate that people try and say their way is best when this topic comes up.  This is best and happiest for me, I hope you choose what is best and happiest for you!

Anyway!  We're all very excited about this upcoming addition to our family!
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