I got out of the hospital almost 2 weeks ago now. I thought for sure on April 26th I was going to have my daughter soon - but here I am, over 2.5 weeks later, and I am still pregnant! 37 weeks and 3 days! Amazing!
While in the hospital, the OB doing the rounds brought up something I never thought I would ever hear, "I think you should have a c-section."
Say what? I don't want a c-section! My labour was super short, and I pushed for like 15-20 minutes to get Violet out. There is no reason for a c-section. I had no idea why Violet had a birth injury, but in my head, it was obvious that someone pulled her arm too hard during the quick bit of pushing but no one wanted to own up to it.
I even asked them to look up Violet's records to tell me why her shoulder dystocia happened, and they couldn't seem to find anything. Either way though, I should have a c-section.
I said no.
Last week when I saw my own OB though, he brought up what the OB had recommended, telling me that OB thought I wasn't being smart about the decision (ouch). I told him my reasonings though, fumbling a little over my wording because I was upset that instead of someone saying, "Obviously a mistake was made at Violet's birth; it won't happen again!" I was being told I needed to be cut open to deliver a baby that for all we know could be born perfectly fine (provided no one pulled on her arm!).
That's when he pulled out a written record of my first daughter's birth. Turns out, there were issues. Why no one told me this before, I do not know. Why I was told no one knew why it happened, I can't figure out. Why I was told, "Oh, the injury could have happened while she was inside you!" - I will NEVER understand.
Whatever the reasoning behind all these things said to me, I now know that Violet's birth wasn't without complications outside of the fact of her being born prematurely. Now I know that when I was being instructed to do some weird things during pushing, it wasn't just for fun! they were attempting the McRoberts Maneuver. Violet was stuck in my pelvis.
If a 7lb 10oz baby at 34 weeks and 4 days could get stuck in my pelvis, imagine what a bigger baby could do. At just over 35 weeks, baby Daisy was measuring 8lbs 5oz by ultrasound. Yikes.
(And for the record - no Gestational Diabetes with either pregnancy. Seriously.)
We can't go through the stress and anxiety of another arm injury. We can't go through all the appointments with special doctors and Occupational Therapists... just can't. I would rather go through some pain and healing myself than even think of risking my child's arm, or even her life.
So, here I am. Set to have my baby soon. Soon she will be here. The c-section was booked quickly, and I am feeling very calm about it. I had my time of crying, but now I am excited that I get to meet my little girl soon. I will never have that after-birth moment where I get to have my child immediately placed on my chest, but I am thankful we are likely to skip the NICU experience this time.
Soon. Daisy will be here soon.